#02 Role of the Parent - Supporting the academic journey
6 February 2022 · 3 min · as at 2022-02-06
Presenter (host) · Vishani (guest) · Paul (guest)
Listen to the episode on iono.fm · MP3
About the guests
Vishani
extra lessons provider
Paul
Guest details come from the published episode notes or the guest's own words in the episode.
Episode analysis
Analysis by AI, drawn only from this episode; every point links to the moment it rests on.
A short episode in which the presenter asks what a parent's role is in a child's education. The episode also covers parents' fear that needing extra lessons means they are failing. Vishani and Paul, each a Kip McGrath centre owner at the time of recording, answer. Vishani separates the roles of parent, school and extra lessons provider. Paul and Vishani then explain how parents can support a struggling child without doing the work for them or spoon-feeding answers.
Key ideas
- The host argues that the stigma some parents attach to supplementary lessons is incorrect. [00:03]▸
- Vishani says the parent's role is to motivate, encourage and shape character, while leaving the teaching to the teacher. [00:38]▸ [00:38]▸ [00:47]▸
- Vishani describes the school as delivering the curriculum day to day. In her account, the extra lessons provider supplements it by addressing struggles or re-teaching concepts in a different style. [00:59]▸ [01:11]▸
- Vishani holds that all three roles are important, but each party needs to know what its role is. [01:24]▸ [01:25]▸
- Paul warns that parents end up picking up the pieces for their children. Children then learn to ask for outside support instead of doing the work themselves. [01:52]▸ [02:00]▸
- Vishani argues that spoon-feeding stops children from attempting to problem solve. [02:40]▸ [02:40]▸
Lessons
- Paul advises letting children do their own homework and projects. Parents should support them in getting a project right without constantly picking up the pieces. [02:14]▸ [02:14]▸ [02:21]▸
- Vishani suggests going back to the theory in the textbook and asking the child to explain it to you. [02:48]▸
- Vishani advises against giving all the answers or rushing to Google it for them. She suggests working together so the child understands what they are doing. [02:59]▸
- According to Vishani, parents should act as motivators rather than as teachers. [00:38]▸
Who it's for
Parents of school-going children who feel they cannot help with schoolwork, who wonder whether extra lessons signal failure, or who tend to do homework and projects for their children.
Facts stated in the episode
- Vishani names three roles in a child's education: the parent, the school and teacher, and the extra lessons provider. [00:38]▸ [00:59]▸ [01:11]▸ [01:24]▸
Questions this episode answers
- Is there something wrong with sending my child to extra lessons?The host says the belief that there is a stigma attached to supplementary lessons is completely incorrect. [00:03]▸
- What is a parent's role in their child's education?Vishani says to be the motivator: encourage the child, shape their character, and leave the teacher's job to the teacher. [00:38]▸ [00:47]▸
- What does an extra lessons provider do compared with the school?Vishani says the school gives the curriculum day to day. The extra lessons provider supplements it by helping with what the child struggles with, teaching in a different style, or re-strategising how to teach a concept. [00:59]▸ [01:11]▸
- Should I help my child with their homework and projects?Paul says there is a support role, but parents should let children do their own homework and projects. If parents keep picking up the pieces, children won't cope in their matric year. [01:52]▸ [02:14]▸
- How can I help my struggling child without just giving them the answers?Vishani suggests going back to the theory in the textbook and having the child explain it to you. She recommends working together towards the answer so they understand it, rather than doing it for them or Googling it. [02:48]▸ [02:59]▸
- Why is spoon-feeding my child a problem?Vishani says a spoon-fed child won't attempt to problem solve and find the answers themselves. [02:40]▸
- Am I failing as a parent if I can't help my child with schoolwork?The host acknowledges that parents feel this way. The experts frame the parent's role as support and motivation, with the teaching left to the school and extra lessons provider. [01:11]▸ [01:35]▸
In their own words
Longer stretches of the conversation, word for word from the transcript, turn by turn.
Parent, teacher and extra lessons: who does what
Note (AI): Sets out the stigma parents may feel, then Vishani's division of roles between parent, school and extra lessons provider.
Presenter, host · [00:03]Many parents may believe there's a bit of a stigma attached to sending children to a supplementary educational lesson, but I'm glad to say, actually, that's completely incorrect. Even if you may be thinking, well, surely the mainstream education system should be sufficient, and I can't help my child, therefore am I failing as a parent? Well, that's one kind of stigma, but you're not alone, and to help us …
Read the full passage (271 words, 00:03–01:34)
Presenter, host · [00:03]Many parents may believe there's a bit of a stigma attached to sending children to a supplementary educational lesson, but I'm glad to say, actually, that's completely incorrect. Even if you may be thinking, well, surely the mainstream education system should be sufficient, and I can't help my child, therefore am I failing as a parent? Well, that's one kind of stigma, but you're not alone, and to help us through this little minefield about who should be doing what, Vishani and Paul are going to be answering your questions. Vishani, what is my role as a parent when it comes to education?
Vishani, guest · [00:38]Be the motivator. You should be encouraging your child in their journey of academics. Basically, you are shaping their character, but you should leave the teacher's job to the teacher. It is really crucial for you to help them and inspire them and support them, but when it comes to the teaching, leave it to the school and the teacher. So the school and the teacher will then be the one who actually gives them the syllabus or the curriculum on a day-to-day basis, and then as an extra lessons provider, we supplement that. So our role would then be to help them with what they're struggling with or what they don't understand or teach in a different teaching style or re-strategize how to teach that concept, and that would be the role of the extra lessons provider. So as you can see, all three roles are very important, but they just need to know what their roles are. And help facilitate the child with their academic journey.
Supporting a struggling child without doing the work
Note (AI): Both experts give practical guidance on supporting homework and projects without picking up the pieces or giving answers.
Presenter, host · [01:35]It's very difficult for parents to take a step back, or if they have to, and because they can't help their child, they are going to feel like they are failing as a parent, let alone a teacher. What is the role of the parent then? How do you turn around and say to your child, …
Read the full passage (325 words, 01:35–03:12)
Presenter, host · [01:35]It's very difficult for parents to take a step back, or if they have to, and because they can't help their child, they are going to feel like they are failing as a parent, let alone a teacher. What is the role of the parent then? How do you turn around and say to your child,
Paul, guest · [01:51]Not at all. There is a support role, which is definitely there, and I think what people lead to is they end up picking up all their pieces for their children. So you've got a typical primary school child who wants to do all the work, but realizes if he just asks once, he's going to get the support from an external source, and they constantly do that. Let them do their own homework. Let them do their own projects. Support them in getting that project right, but don't pick up the pieces all the time, because they won't be able to do it in their matric year either.
Presenter, host · [02:26]So essentially you're saying don't be a helicopter parent. Your children will come to you and say, you don't want to help me, you're not helping me. How do parents get past that if they know that their child is battling and they can't help?
Vishani, guest · [02:40]I think if you're going to spoon feed the child, then they're not going to make an attempt to problem solve and actually find the answers. I think what you can help them do is maybe go back to the theory in the textbook and ask them to explain it to you. And maybe you can work together in that sort of environment to work together, but do not give them all the answers or, you know, do not go in a frantic buzz of, okay, I will do this for you, I will Google it. No, work together, perhaps, and try to get to the answer, but get them to understand what they're doing.
Quotes
“Be the motivator. You should be encouraging your child in their journey of academics.”
“you should leave the teacher's job to the teacher.”
“all three roles are very important, but they just need to know what their roles are.”
“Let them do their own homework. Let them do their own projects.”
“don't pick up the pieces all the time, because they won't be able to do it in their matric year either.”
“So essentially you're saying don't be a helicopter parent.”
“if you're going to spoon feed the child, then they're not going to make an attempt to problem solve and actually find the answers.”
What was said, by topic
Stigma of extra lessons
“Many parents may believe there's a bit of a stigma attached to sending children to a supplementary educational lesson, but I'm glad to say, actually, that's completely incorrect.”
Role of the parent
“Be the motivator. You should be encouraging your child in their journey of academics. Basically, you are shaping their character, but you should leave the teacher's job to the teacher.”
“It's very difficult for parents to take a step back, or if they have to, and because they can't help their child, they are going to feel like they are failing as a parent, let alone a teacher.”
“There is a support role, which is definitely there, and I think what people lead to is they end up picking up all their pieces for their children.”
“So essentially you're saying don't be a helicopter parent. Your children will come to you and say, you don't want to help me, you're not helping me.”
School and extra lessons partnership
“So the school and the teacher will then be the one who actually gives them the syllabus or the curriculum on a day-to-day basis, and then as an extra lessons provider, we supplement that.”
“So our role would then be to help them with what they're struggling with or what they don't understand or teach in a different teaching style or re-strategize how to teach that concept, and that would be the role of the extra lessons provider.”
“So as you can see, all three roles are very important, but they just need to know what their roles are.”
Independent learning
“So you've got a typical primary school child who wants to do all the work, but realizes if he just asks once, he's going to get the support from an external source, and they constantly do that.”
“Let them do their own homework. Let them do their own projects. Support them in getting that project right, but don't pick up the pieces all the time, because they won't be able to do it in their matric year either.”
Avoiding spoon-feeding
“I think if you're going to spoon feed the child, then they're not going to make an attempt to problem solve and actually find the answers.”
“I think what you can help them do is maybe go back to the theory in the textbook and ask them to explain it to you.”
“do not give them all the answers or, you know, do not go in a frantic buzz of, okay, I will do this for you, I will Google it. No, work together, perhaps, and try to get to the answer, but get them to understand what they're doing.”
Episode notes (as published)
From the episode notes published with the podcast.
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Every quotation and passage on this page is copied word for word from the episode audio transcript and linked to the moment it was said. Quotations are never written or altered by AI; topic labels, passage notes and the episode analysis are AI-generated. Guest details come from the published episode notes or the guest's own words.
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