#00 Where to begin? - Stay calm, we've got this!
6 February 2022 · 5 min · as at 2022-02-06
Presenter (host) · Vishani (guest) · Paul (guest)
Listen to the episode on iono.fm · MP3
About the guests
Vishani
Was a microbiologist and geneticist; saw a lot of educational gaps in the field of education and moved into owning an extra lessons centre.
In Vishani's own words:
“I was a microbiologist and geneticist by nature, and thereafter I decided, okay, there's a lot of educational gaps in the field of education,”
Paul
Got involved because his own kids were struggling at the early primary school stage; was a struggling student himself and decided to invest in the business.
In Paul's own words:
“I got involved because of my own kids. I saw they were struggling at the early primary school stage, and I decided to invest in this business.”
Guest details come from the published episode notes or the guest's own words in the episode.
Episode analysis
Analysis by AI, drawn only from this episode; every point links to the moment it rests on.
This opening episode is aimed at parents who have just heard that their child may need extra lessons. The presenter frames the experience as five stages of coping ending in acceptance. Vishani and Paul, each a Kip McGrath centre owner at the time of recording, explain what usually brings parents in, how the baseline assessment and tailored program work, how long the first visit takes, and why progress comes from fixing past gaps and positive reinforcement rather than quick fixes.
Key ideas
- The host describes parents moving through denial, anger, bargaining and depression before accepting that their child needs help. [00:01]▸ [00:33]▸ [00:50]▸ [00:58]▸
- Paul says parents usually come in because the child is no longer achieving the marks they expect, so the first task is identifying the child's working level. [01:55]▸ [02:01]▸
- Vishani explains that a baseline assessment is handed to the tutor, who prepares an individualized, tailored program for the child. [02:13]▸ [02:24]▸
- Paul argues the assessment is only a snapshot in time; after two or three lessons it becomes an ongoing assessment process. [02:55]▸ [02:58]▸ [03:09]▸
- Paul says they do not sell miracles: an older learner may need earlier-grade work fixed first to get the foundations right. [03:50]▸ [03:50]▸ [04:00]▸ [04:02]▸
- Paul and Vishani stress positive reinforcement and confidence building, with Vishani linking the emotional side to cognitive abilities. [03:23]▸ [03:32]▸ [04:10]▸ [04:23]▸
Starting extra lessons as described by Vishani and Paul
- Do a baseline assessment to identify what level the child is working at and set goals.
- The tutor uses the assessment to prepare an individualized, tailored program.
- Give feedback to the parent and discuss the way forward; budget about an hour.
- Continue assessing as the child adapts over the first two or three lessons.
- Fix the past: go back to earlier-grade work and build the foundations up.
- Push positive reinforcement with small step-by-step improvements in marks.
As described in the episode: [02:13]▸ [02:24]▸ [02:40]▸ [03:09]▸ [03:32]▸ [04:02]▸
Lessons
- The host suggests that feeling denial, anger or guilt is common, and that accepting the child needs help is the stage to reach. [00:01]▸ [00:50]▸ [00:58]▸
- Paul warns that one assessment may not show the child's best, since a tired or reluctant child gives only a snapshot. [02:55]▸ [02:58]▸
- Both guests say parents should not expect a few lessons to produce immediate results; regular attendance and fixing gaps take time. [03:44]▸ [03:50]▸ [04:10]▸
- Paul says progress is celebrated in small steps, such as moving from two out of ten to three out of ten. [03:32]▸ [03:32]▸
Who it's for
Parents who have just been told, or suspect, that their child needs extra lessons and want to know what to expect from a first visit. The next step the episode points to is booking a free assessment at a Kip McGrath centre featured on kiplessons.co.za.
Facts stated in the episode
- The host names five stages of coping: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. [00:01]▸
- Vishani says parents should budget about an hour for the assessment and feedback. [02:40]▸
- Paul says that after two or three lessons the child is more adapted to the environment and tutor. [03:09]▸
- Paul says a Grade 10 learner may need Grade 6 or Grade 7 work fixed first. [04:02]▸
- Vishani was a microbiologist and geneticist before moving into extra lessons. [01:31]▸
Questions this episode answers
- Is it normal to feel upset when my child's school says they need extra lessons?The host describes five stages parents often go through — denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance — and says she feels the same as a mother of school-going twins. [00:01]▸ [00:01]▸ [00:50]▸
- What happens when I first bring my child to an extra lessons centre?Vishani says the child does a baseline assessment, which goes to the tutor to prepare an individualized, tailored program; the parent then gets feedback on the way forward. [02:24]▸ [02:40]▸
- How long does the first assessment take?Vishani says it depends on the child's competency and the assessment used, but parents should budget about an hour for the assessment and feedback. [02:40]▸
- What if my child performs badly on the assessment because they're tired?Paul says the assessment is only a snapshot in time; after two or three lessons the child adapts and it becomes an ongoing assessment process. [02:55]▸ [03:09]▸
- Will five extra lessons fix my child's marks?Paul says they don't sell miracles and expect regular attendance; Vishani adds there are no quick fixes in education — it is a process of fixing gaps. [03:44]▸ [03:50]▸ [04:10]▸
- Why would my Grade 10 child be given Grade 6 work?Paul explains that sometimes they have to fix grade six or grade seven work to get the foundations right and build up from there. [04:00]▸ [04:02]▸
- How do tutors keep a struggling child motivated?Paul says school can feel negative when a child gets two out of ten, so they praise progress and aim for three, then four out of ten, pushing positive reinforcement. [03:23]▸ [03:32]▸
- Why did Paul and Vishani get into extra lessons?Paul's own kids struggled in early primary school and he had been a struggling student; Vishani, a former microbiologist and geneticist, saw a lot of educational gaps. [01:16]▸ [01:24]▸ [01:31]▸
In their own words
Longer stretches of the conversation, word for word from the transcript, turn by turn.
The five stages of coping with extra lessons
Note (AI): The host walks parents through denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, naming the feelings many parents have when extra lessons come up.
Presenter, host · [00:01]You're more than likely listening to this because the dreaded words extra lessons have cropped up, and I feel your pain being the mother of school-going twins. Well, to help us navigate this minefield of uncertainty, I have Vishani and Paul to walk through the process and answer your questions. But before we go there, you're probably going through the five stages of coping. The first one, denial. There's nothing …
Read the full passage (210 words, 00:01–01:05)
Presenter, host · [00:01]You're more than likely listening to this because the dreaded words extra lessons have cropped up, and I feel your pain being the mother of school-going twins. Well, to help us navigate this minefield of uncertainty, I have Vishani and Paul to walk through the process and answer your questions. But before we go there, you're probably going through the five stages of coping. The first one, denial. There's nothing wrong with my child. How can you say that my child, that's not my child's fault? Then there's the anger. What are these teachers doing? Are they not teaching my child? What are they being paid for? Then there's the bargaining. Well, maybe I can give them lessons myself on a Saturday and help them through their algebra and help them through this maybe, if they will let me because I'm going to have to promise them ice creams afterwards. maybe that won't work and then you start thinking, hang on, now we're into the depression stage because I'm just the worst mother in the entire world. My children are not coping and I don't know how to help them. But eventually you do get to Acceptance, and this is when you accept the fact that you need the help.
What parents say and how the assessment works
Note (AI): Explains the usual starting concern, the baseline assessment, the tailored program and the roughly one-hour time commitment for the first visit.
Paul, guest · [01:55]So the biggest problem that you experience is the child is no longer achieving the marks that the parent expects. But the idea is that we need to identify what level the child is working at. So the conversation really goes around where are we at, where are we going to, and I need to move forward with a base and a decision. And one of the things we do …
Read the full passage (204 words, 01:55–02:51)
Paul, guest · [01:55]So the biggest problem that you experience is the child is no longer achieving the marks that the parent expects. But the idea is that we need to identify what level the child is working at. So the conversation really goes around where are we at, where are we going to, and I need to move forward with a base and a decision. And one of the things we do is we do an assessment with the child so that we can see exactly what goals are we going to set for each other.
Presenter, host · [02:20]So these, some of the things that a parent can expect when they come in.
Vishani, guest · [02:24]Yes, so basically they come in and we do a baseline assessment, and from this baseline assessment, we then give it to the tutor to prep an individualized and tailored program for the student based on their needs.
Presenter, host · [02:36]And how long does this whole process usually take when people first come in to see you?
Vishani, guest · [02:40]So it really depends on the competency levels of the child and which assessment they're going to do, but you should budget about an hour of, an assessment and then feedback to the parent where we discuss the way forward.
Why results take time: snapshots, foundations, confidence
Note (AI): Sets parent expectations: the assessment is a snapshot, past gaps get fixed first, and small positive steps build confidence rather than quick results.
Paul, guest · [02:55]Well, each child is very, very unique. So the assessment is only a snapshot in time. The child could be very tired, it's an afternoon assessment, and you find that they were not really in the mood to be there, and they're still kind of being forced there by their parents. But what happens after a while, after two or three lessons, you find that the child is more adapted …
Read the full passage (330 words, 02:55–04:29)
Paul, guest · [02:55]Well, each child is very, very unique. So the assessment is only a snapshot in time. The child could be very tired, it's an afternoon assessment, and you find that they were not really in the mood to be there, and they're still kind of being forced there by their parents. But what happens after a while, after two or three lessons, you find that the child is more adapted to the environment and also the tutor that's providing the classes, and it becomes an ongoing assessment process, but it's also a positive reinforcement environment that they require. So school is a very negative thing that they experience all the time because they're getting two out of ten, or ten out of fifty, and we're going to turn around and make that two out of ten. Well, well done, we want to now get you to three out of ten, and the next time we see you, we'll get you to four out of ten, and constantly push the positive reinforcement side.
Presenter, host · [03:41]Oh, so you're not going to be getting immediate results. I'm sure most parents will come in and say, right, I'm only going to have five lessons, and then I want to see absolutely wonderful results.
Paul, guest · [03:50]So one thing we don't do is we don't sell miracles. We expect the child to sit, we expect regular attendance, and the important cycle that the child has to go through there is we have to go and fix the past. So if they are currently in grade ten, sometimes we have to go and fix grade six or grade seven work, get the foundations right, and build up from that.
Vishani, guest · [04:10]And like Paul said, there's no quick fixes in education. It is a process, and it is a process of fixing the gaps, providing tools and techniques, giving the student more skills, and it's a confidence builder. So emotional, emotional background of it helps with the cognitive abilities as well.
Quotes
“the dreaded words extra lessons have cropped up, and I feel your pain being the mother of school-going twins.”
“now we're into the depression stage because I'm just the worst mother in the entire world.”
“and this is when you accept the fact that you need the help.”
“So the assessment is only a snapshot in time.”
“Well, well done, we want to now get you to three out of ten,”
“So one thing we don't do is we don't sell miracles.”
“we have to go and fix the past.”
“there's no quick fixes in education.”
“I was a microbiologist and geneticist by nature, and thereafter I decided, okay, there's a lot of educational gaps in the field of education, and basically just wanted to tap into that and then moved on to owning a center in Bryanston for extra lessons.”
What was said, by topic
Coping with extra lessons
“You're more than likely listening to this because the dreaded words extra lessons have cropped up, and I feel your pain being the mother of school-going twins.”
“Then there's the bargaining. Well, maybe I can give them lessons myself on a Saturday and help them through their algebra”
“But eventually you do get to Acceptance, and this is when you accept the fact that you need the help.”
Guests' backgrounds
“I got involved because of my own kids. I saw they were struggling at the early primary school stage, and I decided to invest in this business.”
“Because I was a struggling student myself, I decided there's something more I can do for a lot of kids.”
“I was a microbiologist and geneticist by nature, and thereafter I decided, okay, there's a lot of educational gaps in the field of education,”
Baseline assessment process
“So the biggest problem that you experience is the child is no longer achieving the marks that the parent expects.”
“But the idea is that we need to identify what level the child is working at. So the conversation really goes around where are we at, where are we going to, and I need to move forward with a base and a decision.”
“And one of the things we do is we do an assessment with the child so that we can see exactly what goals are we going to set for each other.”
“so basically they come in and we do a baseline assessment, and from this baseline assessment, we then give it to the tutor to prep an individualized and tailored program for the student based on their needs.”
“So it really depends on the competency levels of the child and which assessment they're going to do, but you should budget about an hour of, an assessment and then feedback to the parent where we discuss the way forward.”
“Well, each child is very, very unique. So the assessment is only a snapshot in time. The child could be very tired, it's an afternoon assessment, and you find that they were not really in the mood to be there,”
“But what happens after a while, after two or three lessons, you find that the child is more adapted to the environment and also the tutor that's providing the classes, and it becomes an ongoing assessment process,”
Positive reinforcement
“So school is a very negative thing that they experience all the time because they're getting two out of ten, or ten out of fifty,”
“Well, well done, we want to now get you to three out of ten, and the next time we see you, we'll get you to four out of ten, and constantly push the positive reinforcement side.”
“So emotional, emotional background of it helps with the cognitive abilities as well.”
No quick fixes
“I'm sure most parents will come in and say, right, I'm only going to have five lessons, and then I want to see absolutely wonderful results.”
“So one thing we don't do is we don't sell miracles. We expect the child to sit, we expect regular attendance, and the important cycle that the child has to go through there is we have to go and fix the past.”
Fixing learning gaps
“So if they are currently in grade ten, sometimes we have to go and fix grade six or grade seven work, get the foundations right, and build up from that.”
“And like Paul said, there's no quick fixes in education. It is a process, and it is a process of fixing the gaps, providing tools and techniques, giving the student more skills, and it's a confidence builder.”
Episode notes (as published)
From the episode notes published with the podcast.
Welcome to Kip McGrath Extra Lessons FAQ. Have the words 'EXTRA LESSONS' popped up in your family recently? If so, this podcast is just for you! Welcome to 'Understanding Extra Lessons', the podcast that helps answer all the questions that parents (and children) may have relating to Extra Lessons. In this episode you'll hear about the 5 stages of coping as well as assurance that you're not alone. Do you have a question not answered here? Then please contact us via our website KipLessons.co.za Visit KipLessons.co.za if you're ready to book your child's FREE Assessment Book your FREE assessment now · Book your FREE assessment now
Every quotation and passage on this page is copied word for word from the episode audio transcript and linked to the moment it was said. Quotations are never written or altered by AI; topic labels, passage notes and the episode analysis are AI-generated. Guest details come from the published episode notes or the guest's own words.
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